The Honeymooners - How to Have a Debt Free Wedding

One of the most invisible women at a wedding is the mother of the groom. I found that being invisible was actually a lot of fun because my son was marrying the right little lady at the right time and in the right way! All eyes should be on the bride--and groom.

The bride wore white and the groom was in black--in the black, to be precise. Our oldest son, Daniel, graduated from college debt free last month with a great FICO score and no consumer debt. This past week he got married and once again, there was no debt associated with the ceremony, reception or honeymoon! In fact the only "red" that this new couple got into was their (paid for) red convertible. And it wasn't because mommy and daddy took care of all the boy's bills, it was because he learned about financial freedom and living within your means. Starting out well in life by paying cash may mean you wait on the things you want to get, but it also means that there's twice the likelihood Daniel and his bride will not divorce since one in two couples cite "money issues" as the reason they separated.

I gave them The New Bride Guide when they got engaged over a year ago and they used it as their wedding planner. Thousands of other couples have done the same and here are just a few of the key tips to have the wedding of your dreams in the reality of today's economy.

• Live Your Plan - It's important to evaluate how much you can spend by having careful and honest discussions with parents, grandparents or others who will contribute to the wedding. Don't work your plan until you know how much you have to spend. I have a chapter that gives you the step by step guidelines for these discussions. Too many couples make their plans first then struggle with a way to pay for it later which usually means debt.
• Bargaining - By incorporating five words (is this your best price?) you can save thousands of dollars on everything from invitations, dresses, flowers, photography, the rehearsal dinner and the honeymoon! Learn the fine art of bargaining.
• Honeymoon Savings - Daniel followed the tips on vacations and got a rock bottom price on an incredible honeymoon trip to Ireland. They layered the savings online for other items they needed for the trip and saved as much as 50%.

You don't have to be the son of a financial expert to learn how to have a tasteful debt free wedding. As I told Daniel, it's not about planning a wedding, it's about planning a marriage and starting a marriage debt free is the best gift you can give your bride.

Ellie Kay

America's Family Financial Expert (R)

www.elliekay.com

Dead, Near Dead, and Drop Dead Gorgeous

I just got back from the Thelma Wells "Ready to Win" cruise for women where I was a featured speaker. My girlfriends, Brenda and Allison were drop dead gorgeous in their formal night clothing. But don't let this photo deceive you, we survived some strange adventures before we ended up smiling in a photo!

Brenda and I had to come in the day before the cruise and stayed at a Hilton in Fort Lauderdale. TIP: I used an "best available rate" room special where you prepay, but save over $200 by getting the room cheaper than the local Hampton Inn. Plus, I get frequent stayer points & a free breakfast with my Hilton Honors gold card. When we checked into the room, it smelled like smoke. TIP: We knew you should always let management know and that by asking, we could possibly get a room upgrade. The hotel manager was great! He met us at our room with keys to the PRESIDENTIAL SUITE! The nicest room in the 8 story hotel! When he took us in, it was gynormous, featuring a table for twelve, a full kitchen, a private balcony and several sitting areas. The bedroom suite was off the main room. There was just one insey weensy problem.

He showed us around the suite, highlighting the amenities. When he got to the bathroom, he pointed at some stains on the tile, "Don't worry about those stains, they are going to replace the tiles later this week. It's just that a woman died here last night and there was a lot of blood. But they cleaned up all the blood and it's really no problem."

Then he left.

I looked at Brenda, "Did he just say what I thought he said and was he kidding?" Looking pale, she nodded her head and whispered, "He said there was a dead body in this room last night."

We bolted off the main suite and barricaded ourselves in the bedroom area while dreaming of the Sixth Sense and "I see dead people."

The adventure continued when we got on the cruise and reached our first port--Grand Caymans. We signed up for the kayaking and snorkel excursion. When we arrived it was sprinkling and they announced they only had 6 power scooters for 8 people, so if someone wanted to get 1/2 a refund on their excursion, they could forgo the scooter. TIP: It's really easy to share a power scooter when snorkeling with a friend. In fact, it's relaxing to just snorkel on your own, then take a turn with the scooter. We saved 50% in the process.

By the time we paddled out, it was a steady drizzle, but it didn't keep us from enjoying the snorkel experience around the reef with beautiful tropical fish and bright blue waters! When everyone got back on their kayaks to go over to the shipwreck area, it was raining harder. Then--all of the sudden, the heavens opened up and we found ourselves in the middle of a STORM at sea! The guides were too far ahead of us and couldn't see us. Visibility was limited and the rain felt like sharp pepples pelting down on our faces and legs. The kayak was taking on water and the waves were swelling bigger and bigger. We positioned the kayak to meet the ways head on to avoid capsizing. That's when the lightening started. We looked down at our metal paddles and just kept paddling in tandem for shore. It was one of those surreal experiences when you find yourself wondering what your family would do if you were swept out to sea, struck by lightening or put in a psych ward because you freaked out over the trauma.

It took us only fifteen minutes to paddle out but almost an hour to paddle back to the shore. The guides finally got a clue and came back for the other two kayaks that were still in the storm and attached a line to them to get them back safely.

The final day was our big parasailing excursion in Cozumel. We prayed for it to be singularly UNEVENTFUL. We wanted NO more dead bodies or "near death" experiences. Just the intrinsic thrill of flying tandam 600 feet above the water in a parachute. As you'll see from the photo--we succeeded in our goal, putting the "death" theme to rest in peace!

Ellie Kay

America's Family Financial Expert (R)

http://www.elliekay.com/

MAJOR MEDIA - Couples Money Workout

One of the most requested files I have is for my "Couples Money Workout" as it is helping save marriages by giving couples a tool to discuss money matters without throwing food or calling in the SWAT team. I recently recorded a segment with a fabulous couple, Chris and Kathy Hansen, for a major media news show. Once it's going to air (later this month), I'll announce the show and the date.

When Bob and I were first married we didn’t like to say that we “argued” about money. Since he was a born spender and I was a born saver it was natural that learning to manage money as a couple would require a certain amount of give and take—but the word “argue” was just kind of negative for newlyweds like ourselves. So we called it “intense fellowship” instead! We learned that there was a right way to approach this dreaded topic and a very, very wrong way.
One of the things I did before I talked about the One Hour Money Workout for Couples, with the Hansens was to play a game—the Newlywed game, in fact! You can do this by getting 12 pieces of paper (or cardstock) and two big markers (like they use on the show) and get ready to learn some things about your mate! Answer each of the following for yourself and your mate and have your partner do the same thing.

1. Complete the sentence, when it comes to money, I wish my partner would stop _______.
How do you think your spouse answered this question? ___________
2. If you won $1000, what would you do with it? ____________________ How would your spouse spend it?____________________________
3. How would you answer this statement (circle one) “I would rather have: money * beauty * brains.
What would your spouse circle?________________
As you answer these questions, I think you’ll find that you and your spouse are different. You may discover that you didn’t know as much about your mate as you thought you knew or vice versa! But part of any healthy relationship is realizing we are different and we can give each other permission to have their own thoughts and feelings about financial matters. The goal, whether you are a newlywed or you’ve been married forever, is to communicate effectively about money, get on the same team and find financial freedom!
As we prepare for the workout, it’s important to establish boundaries and do a little bit of preparation work as well. Here are some things to keep in mind as you set up boundaries and prepare:

• table all financial talks until your couples money workout time



• no condescension or negativity



• no interrupting your partner when they are talking



• no name calling



• no throwing food



• start by saying one positive thing to each other



• end by saying one positive thing to each other



• create an environment that encourages comfort and success



• have a timer on hand - for each segment in the workout

Bob and I developed a one hour money workout because we thought that if our “money talks” had a start and a finish they would be a lot less painful. We knew we wouldn’t get all our problems solved in just one hour, but we also knew that if we kept at it, we’d make progress. Email me and ask for the "Couples Money Workout" and you'll find a miracle happen in your marriage, too!

Ellie Kay

America's Family Financial Expert (R)

Twelve Summer Savings Tips

School is out for Summer! So it's time to post my top twelve summer savings tips that can help you get through the summer with your savings and your sanity intact:

1. Use Cash, Save 20% – Use cash for three main problem areas: food, entertainment and gas. Put the budgeted money in three separate envelopes. When you go grocery shopping, go to your cash envelope and do the same when your family wants to go to a movie. The constant visual cash reminder can save as much as 20% in each area. And you avoid going further into debt by not using credit cards.

2. Book It – Entertainment.com offers a coupon book that is available for 150 metro markets and usually costs between $25 and $45 but is on sale for only $10! Preview the coupon booklet for your area (or an area where you will vacation) to see if the coupons are ones you will use. An added benefit: you’ll not only save on eating out, but you can also save on movie theaters, theme parks, dry cleaning, and at local shops. Average advertised total book savings—$17,000. To redeem only 25 percent is an annual savings of $4,250.

3. For Movie Fanatics – Check with your local theater for special discount days or about reward programs for frequent visitors, some of which may also offer discounts on food and even free future tickets. Some theaters offer “Summer Movies” that are designed for kids and can cost as little as $1. Be aware that you can often purchase the matinee ticket at discounted prices. Sometimes the difference in a full price and matinee price is only ten minutes (the 5:55 PM showing is cheaper than the 6:05 showing). Some theater chains have special purchases of multiple tickets (usually packages of 50) that can be redeemed over a specific period of time—but make sure you will actually use these in time in order to maximize the value of your investment. Your employer, credit union, credit card provider, alumni association or even your union may also offer movie discount values.

4. New and Improved Staycations – Replicate a "taking a vacation" feeling without going far by exploring your town or region like you never have before. Check out the “newcomers package” at your local chamber of commerce or visit your regional parks and recreation website to discover programs available for families. At www.FactoryToursUSA.com, search your area for fun tours for seeing how things are made. Many historic homes and governmental buildings, such as state capital buildings, also offer free tours. You might be surprised at all the fun things to do right in your backyard. And speaking of your backyard, why not stage a family campout? Your family gets to sleep in tents, tell scary stories and make s'mores (over a propane grill).

5. Eat New for Less – If you want to try a new restaurant but not pay full price, go to Restaurant.com, a site that issues coupons and gift certificates for over 6,000 eateries around the country. Our family picks a spot and pays $10 for a $25 gift certificate—we save over 50 percent in the process. The average restaurant bill for a family of four is $86. Our family saves $43 x 52 weeks = $2,236. Also watch for summer sales on this site, we recently bought $25 gift certificates for only $2 for a couple of local eateries.

6. Plant a Vegetable Garden or Try Community Gardening – Stake out a piece of the backyard or fill window boxes, barrels and tubs, urns or even pots and hanging basket with seedlings and starter plants for a vegetable and/or herb garden. Aside from the food bill savings, harvesting the bounty with your children will provide months of good taste and good cheer. Some neighborhoods offer community gardening where you pay $5 for your plot and get to know your neighbors while gardening. If you don’t have access to community gardening, but know a friend or colleague that loves to garden, offer to help with the cost of plants and seeds and care products in exchange for going shopping in their garden.

7. Big to Little Bag – Whether you’re wheeling around town or on a 300 mile road trip, avoid fast food joints and pricey convenience store traps by buying healthy snacks in larger quantities and then packing them in reusable containers and keeping them in your car. Any time you divide menu items from a larger quantity to a lunch bag size, you save BIG! For example, buying a two pound bag of mini-carrots and dividing them into snack size plastic bags, I’ve saved 40% over the prepackaged, smaller baggies of carrots. Do this for chips, cookies, nuts, fruit snacks, raisins, grapes, sweet snap peas, celery, cherries, and anything else your family enjoys!

8. Get Everyone Their Own Bottle – The same advice above applies to drinks. Instead of pulling over to buy expensive bottles of water, soda or juice, everyone in your family should have their own colorful, reusable plastic bottle filled with their favorite refreshment. Toss them in a cooler and take them along wherever you go and lap up the savings while being good to the environment.

9. Breakfast for Dinner – Being creative is the key to cost savings and along that line you can have a "breakfast for dinner" night. My kids love it when my husband makes waffles on Sunday and we freeze the extras for a breakfast night--it saves time AND money.

10. Don’t Get Zapped – Electricity is a big expense in the summer, and some states are offering a special discount for those who are willing to restrict their use during certain times of the day. It can be as simple as raising an air conditioning setting during the day and running your swimming pool pump at night. Our family has a band on our air conditioning unit that saves us $150 per month, & we’ve stayed cool with temps as high as 115 outside! Check with your power company for details.

11. Flush Wisely – With bathrooms in use more with the kids home 24/7, save money with water displacement. Don’t put bricks, however, in your toilet tank to do so. They can break apart, clog pipes and cost you thousands of dollars in repairs. Instead, use a one quart plastic container that will not interfere with the toilet flapper valve and put this in the tank. It will save $150 per year per bathroom. In our house that is $450 per year!

12. Stop Doing Dishes! – Every now and then I give some advice that I really like! If you stop washing your dishes by hand and only run the dishwasher to clean your dirty dishes, you could save $1.50 per load. The reason is that it costs money to heat the water and pipes in your home, which is something that happens every time you wash a few dishes by hand.

Here's the most valuable tip of all: hug, love, kiss and squeeze those munchkins as much as you can because they grow and go too quickly!

Ellie Kay
America's Family Financial Expert (R)
www.elliekay.com

Credit Card Reform - Ellie on Neil Cavuto Today

The Senate passed a bill for credit card reform and this populist idea may end up costing the good credit managers more as they shoulder the burden of those with poor credit problems. In the next two years, government stress tests indicate that companies will chargeoff 82 billion in bad debts and that money is coming from somewhere. Today on Neil Cavuto, here is what I suggested:

What Consumers can expect:

• Annual Fees - 50 million of you are paying no fees but I believe you'll be charged in the future while existing annual fees are likely to rise
• Higher APRS - beware that in many cases, using your card after the APR has been raised is the same thing as accepting the higher APR
• Reduced limits - if your limit hasn't changed yet, it probably will and if you are not aware of the limit change, this could result in an over-the-limit fee
• Altered Grace Period - your new due date could be sooner than you thought and the result is a hefty late fee
• Hidden Fees - When it comes to recovering 82 billion in chargeoffs and 20 billion in lost revenue from fees, credit card companies will get creative in what they'll charge you for!

What Consumers can do about it:

• Call in -- When you receive notification of higher APRs, lowered limits or annual fees be prepared to call the credit card company and do what you can to try to get back what they have taken away from you. Read my blog on what to say and what not to say in my tagged consumer debt label.
• Caution - Do NOT cancel your major bank card just because they've added an annual fee--this could hurt your credit score in a significant way! If you've had the card for 5 or more years and cancel it, then your longevity is affected in your credit scoring. So be strategic in what you cancel and when.
• Control - Make sure you are in control, in terms of knowledge, of your card's changes. If you receive any kind of notification about grace periods, credit limits or higher APRS, then read the fine print in order to understand what limitations are being placed on your card. If you don't understand the fine print, then call the company and ask them when your new due date is, what your credit limit is, what your new APR will be and if using your card constitutes acceptance of the new APR. Also ask them if there have been any other changes to your credit card agreement (this is where you may discover some hidden fees.)
• Creativity - With the reduction of reward perks and cash back savings, it may be time to look outside your own credit card for rewards on the items you purchase. For example, at the site Upromise.com you sign up free and get anywhere from 1% to 25% deposited into a 529 savings plan for items purchased. Also be sure to check bankrate.com in the future ( a few months from now) in order to compare what other credit card companies are offering in terms of rewards and perks. There may yet be something left for those of us with good credit!

Ellie Kay

America's Family Financial Expert (R)

www.elliekay.com

Ellie on ABC News "Money Matters"

It's one of those west coast satellite interviews where I'm picked up at my hotel at 5:40 AM, in studio by 6:00 AM and on the air by
6:30. Except things don't always go as planned--especially in media.

I really enjoy being on shows like Money Matters because the hosts are out to give people news they can use, so there's good natured bantering associated with the practical tips.

I arrived at the west coast ABC bureau and they put me in a studio. As they were putting on my microphone, the audio feed box broke--something clearly beyond anyone's control. The tech (who has been doing TV stuff for 25 years) fiddled here & there and kept saying "Oh no!" and "this isn't good." Trust me, these are not words that bring comfort as you're waiting to on national television in front of a gazillion people. But this guy looked resourceful and he kept fiddling, trying one thing after another.

By now, we're 5 minutes to air. Finally, he takes a phone and a microphone, then DUCT TAPES the microphone to the top part of the phone. Then he plugs the audio feed into the phone and puts the mini earpiece into my ear. This allowed me to "hear" the producer on the phone from NY and also hear the host ask me questions! All of this you'd never know to watch the piece on Money Matters .

The result is a fun, upbeat piece on Mother's Day gifts that you can even use for Father's Day too, if you want to get a jumpstart on that holiday.

As a mom of so many, I find that Mother's Day isn't just "a" day around our house--it's a season by the time all the gifts come trickling in from all the kids. Hope YOU have a great Mom's Day, too!

Ellie Kay
America's Family Financial Expert (R)
http://www.elliekay.com/

Mother's Day Gifts - 8 Cool & Inexpensive Gifts

This is a test. It's a test to see if ANY of my kids ever read my blog. If I get at least ONE item from the following list, then I'll KNOW you guys read your mama's website. If I don't....well you don't wanna know--trust me! :-) So if you know my kids and you read this blog, you might want to send them a heads up that their heads are on the line on this one!

Here are some ideas I came up with that are cool and inexpensive gifts for Mother's Day 2009. And I would be happy with ANY of these!

1. Gift Mom Her Own Facebook Page: Middle aged women are the most quickly growing demographic on facebook! Set it up and have the family write a profile for Mom. Tweens and teens love this one and even Dad can get involved Your Mom can then use the site to do her own social and professional networking as well as keep in touch with the family.

2. Help Her Organize A Room: Give Mom a room of her choice and help her clean it out and simplify things. Design a gift certificate that’s good for a few hours one morning or afternoon. From the kitchen to her office, this is a great idea for any home area that needs de-cluttering. She’ll not only love the stress-busting effects of an organized environment, but even more importantly, the time she’ll have with you. For more ideas on how to organize, go to Marcia Ramsland's site, www.organizingpro.com

3. Assemble a Playlist for her iPod or other portable music player: Know some songs that bring your Mom to mind? Nothing will bring a smile to her face faster than music with lyrics that say what she means to you or take her back to a special time. Think Bette Milder’s Wind Beneath My Wings or the Caribbean tunes she fell in love with on vacation.

4. YouTube Tribute: Take it one step further and marry one or two of her favorite tunes with photos and funny videos from the family collection for a full multi-media extravaganza. Post it at www.youtube.com . These can also be assembled into a special Mother’s Day e-book online at need website suggestion here.

5. Personalized Coupon Book: If all these tips are too high tech for you, then let's go back to yesterday and a low tech, but meaningful gift, one that I remember my kids making for me when they looked like the kids sitting on this camper! Make your own coupon book with gift certificates for everything from doing the dishes for a week and mowing the lawn to a Mom and Dad’s night out or allowing Mom to be queen for the day. The latter means that dinner is on the table when she gets home, no one argues with her and she gets to watch her favorite TV show or movie without interruption! The one catch: you gotta mean it!

6. Coupon Collection: Speaking of coupons, agree for a month to take over the chore of maintaining and organizing the coupon collection. For Ellie, who saves $8,000 annually on groceries, this is a huge help and time saver especially with the number and variety of coupons available on the market today.

7. Plant a Vegetable Garden: Stake out a piece of the backyard or fill window boxes, barrels and tubs, urns or even pots and hanging basket with seedlings and starter plants for a vegetable and/or herb garden. Aside from the food bill savings, harvesting the bounty will provide months of good taste and good cheer for your Mom and others.

8. If you’ve left it to the very, very, very last minute: Remember anything personalized is better. So, instead of the generic stuffed animal, go with the item labeled “World’s Greatest Mom.”

Remember, Kay kids, that your mama loves you!

Ellie Kay
America's Family Financial Expert (R)
www.elliekay.com